I was one of those super-organized, life planning kinda people. I could tell you what I was doing 5 Tuesdays from now at 10 am. I had a ridiculous daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, 5 year, 10 year and 15 year plan. I had an amazing job working with the most influential surgeons in Canada., I had an unlimited expense account, travel, an entire bedroom dedicated to my wardrobe, shoes and bags. I reached my income goals three years early. I worked my ass off 80 hours a week and I was invigorated by the pace.[simage=2772,160,n,left,]
I loved my life, which made the decision to make this huge change a difficult one. I had “goals” and a “plan” that I’d spent my whole life working towards. When I got “there”, I thought “okay, I’m there…now what.” I’ve never been motivated by money, purely goals. It seemed redundant to continue doing the same thing, even if I was good at it, even if it paid me well, even if it would “prepare me for retirement”. I want to experience the whole of life. When there’s nothing new to create, I move to something fresh. I want my life to be spiced with newness, love and joy. I’m not afraid of discomfort, nor the shadows in the world.
My fate was sealed at an early age with the magic of an unencumbered spirit. From the time I was 10 years old, I predicted that something amaaaazing was going to happen when I was 32. I didn’t know what, I just knew that it would be a year that literally changed my life. Whether it was a childs innocent musings or a simple manifestation, I’ll never understand, but it did happen. Through a series of small unrelated incidents, I was pushed and pulled into my new life. It wasn’t easy, I fought and kicked and cried when I couldn’t deny it any longer. When I finally surrendered and said the words out loud “I’m leaving to travel and I don’t know when I’m coming back”, the Universe took care of the details. All I had to do was show up. I quit my job on my 32 birthday, a spontaneous response to a phone call from my boss. Hows THAT for prophetic?!? All I did was follow a feeling.
[simage=2773,160,n,left,]I rented my beautiful house that had my blood sweat and renovation tears into it. I packed up all my precious “things”. I booked a one-way ticket to Thailand and stuffed way too much into my backpack. My wonderful family took care of my loose ends and the property management.
[simage=2774,160,n,right,]“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all.”~ Helen Keller
This quote powered me through the unnerving parts of leaving a life behind. Whats the worst that could happen? Oooh…it might be different. Oooh, it might be worse. There is very little in life that can’t be undone. There are no mistakes and if it was the wrong decision, I could change it again and again and again. We are responsible for our creation. All that’s needed it some trust in our instinct, and trust that we will be taken care of. Karma does amazing things for the latter. If you treat people well, it will come back to you. If you are rude, ignorant, and cheat people, that will also come back. It’s a pretty awesome balancing act when you’re on the right side.